#idk I always feel like I have an obligation to the name Alexandre because my parents picked it out. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chemicalarospec · 6 months ago

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I think I need to give the name William a proper try. Because I think I have for a long time been fond of it -- I especially like that my real middle initial is W - I used to try to think of a theoretical pen name and I would sort of "repurpose" that as William -- but I mentally barricaded it as "off-limits" because it's the deadname of one of my friends and so refused to explore it more. (Which now this is reminding me "what if you want to trans your name to a friend's deadname" started as a theoretical question. um did I like. induce this in myself like my 'crushes'.) But that brief fascination with William Beckett broke that weird internal rule + we'll be moving apart soon, so like William is Surfacing in me.

#I said this #personal #names #plus it's got that double 'l' similartiy with Isabelle #thank u very much to nova for helping me try Andrew by using in non-artifical situations <3 #it doen't feel like me but idk if that's because i'm just not used to it yet #i defintely still feel fondness - self-identifying or not - for the name which unlike all my other names #has no origin story whatsoever - i knew a few andrews IRL and i'm pretty neutral/indifferent on them - never gave them/their name #a lot of thought. and i've never known a fictional andrew. sometimes i wonder tho if i'm inventing a fictional 'me' when i imagine Andrew #idk I always feel like I have an obligation to the name Alexandre because my parents picked it out.#like i don't feel like i have to end on it nessecarily but that i really have to try it

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